your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
