ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
