Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
