Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
