Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
