went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
