we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
