R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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