Please, let me fuck your mom
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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