Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
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