Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
