would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
