He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
