My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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