what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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