I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
