he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Quick, to the slutcave!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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