I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
