those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
