you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
