my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
