that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize