So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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