Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
