doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
