I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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