conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I still have a little drunk in my system
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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