Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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