belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize