Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
