No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
