yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
