just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
