Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
