so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
