id be glad to
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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