Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
