I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize