I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
