I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize