Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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