That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
