I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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