Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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