'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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