The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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