very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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