Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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