My boss' voice literally gives me gas
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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