kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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