i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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