I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
