woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize