if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize
