Jerry, you need to find god
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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