I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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