the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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