pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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