I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
