yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
