Christians are straight up FREAKS
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize