the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Randomize