K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
