My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
