I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
