If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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