toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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