so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
